My brother had a cat named Fluff. Fluff was definitely the family cat and roamed the house at will. When the news came that my brother’s in-laws were coming to visit with the admonition that his mother-in-law was deathly allergic to cat hair, a decision was made to put Fluff in an animal motel. Five days later, when my brother went to pick up Fluff, he found a cat who had changed. I wrote this ballad in response to this story and entitled it:
“My In-Laws Made an Outlaw out of Me”
My life though blessed with loving care Began to spin ar(eow)nd. When Joe and Mary Lou, my in-laws, Aimed to come to t(eow)n.
Her nose is plagued with allergies, She says cat hair’s the curse; But when I’m told to shed no hair It makes me shed it worse!
(Chorus) My in-laws made an out-law out of me, They put me in the clink without a key; It hurt me, so I sing this melody, My in-laws made an outlaw out of me.
My owner said, “Fluff, you must stay Down at the kitty p(eow)nd,” He packed my bags, gave me a pat, My life flipped upside d(eow)n.
The other cats were mean as sin, And treated me real rough; For five days I was hardened, I emerged as “Flo, the Tough.”
So when they came to take me home, I treated them aloof, And as they tried to scratch my head, I swigged on 100 proof.
I guess I will forgive them soon, They didn’t mean to hurt me; And I will be a purrrfect cat, If they don’t re-desert me