You Do Too

If I tell you that you are smart and good-looking, you probably will try to deny the compliment, teasing me about needing to get my eyes checked. However, if you talk to a mutual friend, and he/she says, “I heard Thom talking about how smart and handsome you are,” then the impact of the compliment can sink in. I call these “indirect compliments,” and I think they are much more powerful than regular compliments. I have also learned something else about compliments: Don’t return them immediately. If someone says, “You look so good,” don’t immediately say, “You do too.” I made that exact compliment once to a dear friend whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. She had gained a great deal of weight in the interim, and I could see in her face the disappointment my “you do too” empty compliment created. We need to compliment each other, but we need to find ways to do so–perhaps a card, an e-mail, or an “indirect compliment” through a friend. Be clever in designing sincere compliments. I assure you that you will get them in return.

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About bobosbest

I am a 79-year-old retired English teacher whose writing goals are fulfilled by publishing these blogs. I have a wonderful married partner, Dimitris Tsitsiras, who is from Greece. Life is good and still an adventure.
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2 Responses to You Do Too

  1. arcadian48 says:

    A very thoughtful post, Thom. Thanks for writing this.

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