My brother, Jackie K. Cooper, is the writer in the family. He has published seven books, all about our family and his life in central Georgia. One of the cleverest stories he has ever written concerns the family cat, Fluff, who had to be housed at the vet during the visit of my brother’s mother-in-law, Mary Lou, who is allergic to cat hair. After I read my brother’s story, I wrote the following country music song for Fluff. Sing it along with me in your best country twang.
My In-Laws Made An Outlaw Out of Me
My life though blessed with loving care
Began to spin ar(eow)nd;
When Joe and Mary Lou, my in-laws,
Aimed to come to t(eow)n.
Her nose is plagued with allergies,
She says cat hair’s the curse.
But when I’m told to shed no hair
It makes me shed it worse!
My owner said, “Fluff, you must stay
Down at the kitty p(eow)nd;”
He packed my bags, gave me a pat,
My life flipped upside d(eow)n.
The other cats were mean as sin,
And treated me real rough;
For five days I was hardened;
I emerged as “Fluff, the Tough.”
So when they came to take me home,
I treated them aloof;
And as they tried to scratch my head,
I swigged on 100 proof.
I guess I will forgive them soon,
As they didn’t mean to hurt me;
And I will be a purrrfect cat,
If they don’t re-desert me.
(Chorus) My in-laws made an out-law out of me,
They put me in the clink without a key;
It hurt me, so I sing this melody.
My in-laws made an outlaw out of me.