Hurting the One You Love

There’s an old country song that says, “You Always Hurt The One You Love.” Why is that so? I grew up a pleaser. I made good grades. I obeyed my parents. But, I was gay and, although I kept that secret from my parents (and from myself) for many years, it eventually hurt them. They believed that I had lied to them while I thought that I was protecting them. Confused about my sexuality, I married. Why did a gay man marry a woman? I loved her and thought that I could learn to be a good husband because of that love. After twenty years, I was faced with a relationship in shambles and three children who loved me but didn’t understand how I could have hurt them so badly. Life is a challenge. In order to have the joy of giving birth to a child, there must be the pain of childbirth. Psychiatrists say that in order to experience joy, we must experience also the antithesis. Some of my best friends are married couples who seem to have grown closer as they have grown older, having dealt with the joys and hurts of life together. Daring to love is daring to be hurt. However, the end result of loving and being loved is the greatest joy we experience on earth.


About bobosbest

I am an 80-year-old retired English teacher whose writing goals are fulfilled by publishing these blogs. I have a wonderful married partner, Dimitris Tsitsiras, who is from Greece. Life is good and still an adventure.
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