From Youth to Oldth

If you’ve read my blog, you probably know that I am a journalist—nope, not the professional kind of journalist who interviews newsmakers. I am a “journalist” in that I keep a journal and have kept one since 1954. One morning recently, I was reading what I wrote back in October, 1961, when I was in the Navy and 23 years old. I was wondering what the future held—what would I be doing a year from that particular date? Here’s the entry: It is funny how I can turn back in this journal and flip from 23 January to now — 275 days of a life completely different from anything I have ever done. Great Lakes, Bainbridge, Camp Perry and now Naval Air Station, Pensacola. Who would have thought a year ago that I would have been skipping around like this? Who knows, this time next year I might be on the other side of the world or I might be at my same desk in the Aircraft Materials Office. The world is so changeable as are we. One day we are young; the next we are old. My life seems to be speeding by so quickly. I have so many things I want to accomplish. When I was in college, someone once asked me my philosophy of life and I replied that it was to make people happy. Have I accomplished that? It is funny how a question such as that stimulated and challenged me. My classmate certainly had no idea of the impact of her question. There is so much challenge for young people in the world if we only accept it.
In my journals, I can trace my progress from youth in 1954 to oldth in 2012. It is an interesting progression and at times I appear to be at least two different people—the person I was after I accepted my being gay and the person I was before. It is the difference between being a pleaser and a realist. For 54 years, I tried to please everyone, including God, by denying what was so basic to my makeup—my attraction to those of my sex. Now, here I am, a senior citizen who lives alone but yearns for a loving relationship. How awkward to seek romance and to hope and dream at my age. Certainly my aspirations are not the same as they were when I was younger, but they are strong. Life is a challenge at times, but it is worth the effort. I wonder what I will be doing a year from now in 2013.

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About bobosbest

I am a 79-year-old retired English teacher whose writing goals are fulfilled by publishing these blogs. I have a wonderful married partner, Dimitris Tsitsiras, who is from Greece. Life is good and still an adventure.
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One Response to From Youth to Oldth

  1. arcadian48 says:

    I like this so much. It’s my story too, in a way. Two different lives. I, too, look for a relationship. I just don’t know the form it needs to take.

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