A funny incident occurred during a visit by my friend Jos from Amsterdam, Holland. When he opened the window in the TV room to let fresh air in, a baby lizard that had been resting inside the window screen hopped onto the floor, prompting my guest to close the door, grab the fish net I use with the aquarium, and assure me that he can capture the lizard and put him outside. I laughed as “my protector” pulled the sofa away from the wall. As the lizard was nowhere to be seen, he soon stopped his efforts. He left the door to the room closed, however, and the next day when we entered the room, the tiny lizard was frolicking on the sofa, renewing Jos’ resolve. The lizard, seeing Jos with fish net in hand, sensing that his freedom might be about to end, dived over the sofa edge, again disappearing to Jos’ dismay. By the next night, two days had passed and we had forgotten the lizard and had turned our attention to the movie “Conquest of Paradise,” a story of Christopher Columbus starring Gerard Depardieu. Evidently lizards are interested in history too. Jos first spotted the lizard, sitting on a battery charger box staring at the TV intently. When he whispered to me that he was going for the fish net, I suggested he try a shoe box.
“Frighten him into the box and take him outside,” I said.
“He’ll jump out,” he protested, reaching for the nearby box. Instead of pushing the lizard into the box, he slapped the box up against the wall, imprisoning not only the lizard but the battery charger as well.
“Now, what are you going to do?” I asked.
“Get me some paper to cover the box with.”
“You don’t need paper. Just make sure the lizard is in the box and take him outside.”
“He’ll jump out,” he insisted.
“No, he won’t. I live here. I know lizards.” Frustrated with my Dutch friend’s inexperience with lizardry, I left the room so that he could capture this “monster” any way he pleased. Soon he emerged from the room, walking with the box in hand covered by a heavy piece of cardboard-like paper. He looked so proud as he marched toward the front door.
“Open the door,” he urged.
Outside, on the porch, I smiled and said, “Okay, take the paper off and let’s watch him jump.” Expectantly, Jos slid the paper off the box and sure enough inside the box was the baby lizard cowering in the corner. “He isn’t jumping, Jos.”
“Jump,” Jos said. “Jump! Jump!” Finally he turned the box over and thumped on the back, again urging the lizard to “jump.” Only when he set the box down did the lizard walk away, disappearing into its natural environment and ending the “siege of my household.”


About bobosbest

I am an 80-year-old retired English teacher whose writing goals are fulfilled by publishing these blogs. I have a wonderful married partner, Dimitris Tsitsiras, who is from Greece. Life is good and still an adventure.
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One Response to Lizardry

  1. Bob says:

    I really do enjoy lizards. I think they’re funny, and very harmless.

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